Although its colder and staying home is tempting, the numerous Christmas party’s are calling, the awful Christmas jumpers, the bitter mulled wines, and generally a good time with friends echo through December.
We’ve launched our Christmas jumpers again this winter to continue to push expanding our community and sharing our message ‘You are stronger than you think.’ Our jumpers have been thought about on each step of their journeys from warehouse, to our printers, to you… the process takes longer than usual but we are committed to ensuring each individual jumper has minimal effect on our planet but a maximal impact on our employees.
Our jumpers are sustainable, environmentally friendly and ethically sourced. We do not mass produce, but order to demand, they are hand printed by a small family run printing business on the south coast, who employ workers who struggle to work in larger business environments, some with physical and learning difficulties, then they are hand packed and shipped to you!
This year we have chosen to work with Hectors House, a small independent suicide charity, that focus on education, awareness and prevention of suicide. They lost their son and brother aged 19, and have worked tirelessly to help shift the stigma around mental health.
Our other collaborations this year include The CheckIn.Co who are raising money to continue the good work they are doing for providing mental health education and free community events. Matt Johnson and his team chose the subtle colours of moondust grey and storm grey, coupled with black and white velvet stags.
Blitz CrossFit gym, having chosen french navy and pink as their signature colours are raising money to support BreastCancerNow and MacMillian, as they lost 2 members who were taken to early, leaving behind young families, so this is very special to their hearts to continue to raise awareness in their legacies.
Thames Turbo Triathlon Club, have doted french navy and a vibrant fire red, to match their squad colours. Raising money for The Dylan Howells Foundation, a foundation that encourages and supports younger athletes towards achieving their sporting goals, Dylan was a thames turboer who was taken at the young age of 41 to heart arrhythmia.
Finally, The University of Portsmouth have joined forces with Sizu to offer a specific Portsmouth Purples colourway, they are passionate about student mental health and awareness, and have kindly donated all profits to our chosen charity Hectors House.
These jumpers stand for more than just a Christmas favourite closet item, they represent the best of the Sizu community, alone the world can feel like a difficult place to navigate, especially at Christmas but together sharing our knowledge, experiences and kindness we can lift each other up and showcase humanity at its finest!
]]>A friend of mine once simplified friendship and love for me; it was so simple. We all think and act differently, and we all show ‘love’ differently, and we all communicate ourselves differently. Understanding how others operate is crucial to our relationships. We often scrutinise people for not acting how we would, or we get upset because they don’t show us love or affection the way we want. But we were all built differently and as always there is more than one route to any destination- its what makes us human- our uniqueness and individuality.
Have you ever stepped back and thought about how you show someone you care? Do you show love through gifts? Through spending quality time together? Through finding solutions to others problems? Which do you value more, tokens of appreciation, displays of physical affection, quality time spent together.
I believe we first have to identify how we want to give and receive love, and how we like to communicate. Once you understand your own needs- it’s easier to ask for what helps you and how you operate. Me, myself I love to show others how important they are through spending time together creating memories and I love to give thoughtful gifts. However, I think to receive love and have good communication I prefer someone taking the time to do things together and physical affection! A hug goes a longgggg way! Yet, I have an abundance of friends who are very different to me. And they all operate differently, and they all show their affection uniquely to them.
I believe we cross paths with people to help us grow, or learn or to simply be happy! There is an art in learning to accept someone. Just because they do it differently or respond differently to you doesn’t make them wrong- it’s just their perception and reaction to something. You can also never change someone- but you can simply control yourself. You have a choice- accepting that person for all their ways or you can decide it’s too much for you and to let them go.
Life is about finding your people. The people who relate best to you, the people who aren’t perfect but you accept them for their style and choices, and they choose you. Find those who have the imperfections that you decide you can handle- if you accept someone- you accept them for all that they are.
The ‘Love Languages’ – Dr Gary Chapman
My words above are based on the readings of Dr Gary Chapman. As with everything I say throughout my blogs they will either resonate with you or not- I read his methodology and it resonated with me, it provoked thinking into myself but also those around me.
Dr Chapman believes we all give and receive love in 5 different ways, known as Love Languages:
When words of affirmation is your love language, words build you up. You thrive on spoken affection, praise, encouragement, and compliments. Harsh words and criticism can bother you for a long time.
Anything that your partner does willingly to ease your workload is a sign of love to you. You feel cared for when your partner vacuums before you get to it or makes you breakfast as a surprise. On the other hand, broken promises or laziness can make you feel unimportant.
When you speak this love language, a thoughtful gift shows to you that you are special. In contrast, generic gifts and forgotten special events have the opposite effect. This love language isn’t necessarily materialistic – it could be as simple as receiving your favourite snack after a bad day.
To you, nothing says you’re loved like undivided attention. When your partner is truly present (and not looking at their phone), it makes you feel important. Failure to actively listen or long periods without one-on-one time can make you feel unloved.
Holding hands, kisses, hugs, and other touches are your preferred way to show and receive love. Appropriate touches convey warmth and safety, while physical neglect can drive a wedge between you and your partner.
Most of us have one or two preferred love languages, often different than our partners or our friends and family. It is good to understand your own needs and ways of communication to help the relationships and friendships you have with others. Good communication and expressing your feelings is usually paramount to healthy relationships with others.
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I’ll tell you a secret! I have couch days! I have lazy days! I have unmotivated- no one can make me do anything kinda days! Sometimes I push through these feelings, other times I embrace how I feel and I accept today is not my day. The ability to control our motivation, I believe is on a spectrum, and choosing when to push through and when to give in, is personal to each of us- but it can also be guided by self-discipline and self-honesty.
‘It’s okay to have ‘down’ days or ‘bad times’… just don’t unpack and empty your suitcases! stay for a short period of time, reset and move on.’ The is a stigma around being perceived as weak if we give into our negative thoughts and feelings. Ignoring them can actually add to our stress and heighten our thoughts- there is a timeline to work through things in your mind.
More often than not we compare ourselves to others and how we think we should react or feel, or how we think others expect us to react. Navigating through emotions is extremely difficult, and I like to compartmentalise my thought processes- otherwise I find it overwhelming- I create bitesize pieces to digest one step at a time. And I do seek advice from trusted friends and family- getting other opinions are important but at the end of day you are making the decision- so you have to feel happy and in control of your decision. How you feel is also okay- no one can control their feelings- so accept that this isn’t how you expected to feel but you do- and that’s okay.
Be kind to yourself- don’t rush choices or decisions- take the time you need to work out what is best for you- I am a huge fan of sleeping on it. When we sleep our subconscious takes over and essentially digests our previous days information- it makes sense of all that we have seen, heard and experienced. I find that usually after sleeping I am less emotional, more in control and clearer in what matters most to me. So I urge you next time to step back, take the time you need, and sleep on it.
Action plan and being disciplined.
In the moment it’s easy to choose what you want to do- it’s the quickiest route. The harder route is having the patience to wait and stay focused on the bigger end goal that you want most! Learning the art of discipline- an old psychology study- the Stanford experiment- involved learning the point at which children grasp the concept of delayed gratification - they placed a single marsh mellow on the plate, and told the child they could eat it or they could wait 15 minutes and receive a second marsh mellow and then eat both. The research found that children who were able to wait longer for the preferred rewards tended to have better life outcomes, educational attainment, and healthier body mass index scores (BMI).
Becoming disciplined can be learnt, it’s tough and you have to have clear goals and end vision. Short fixes often make us feel better instantly but in order to grow, and evolve ourselves we need the long-term fixes as ultimately, they stand the test of time and increase our happiness and sense of achievement.
Visualisation is a commonly used psychological tool amongst athletes- we effectively have already done the race in our minds- when we actually come to the race itself we have already raced it. We have accounted for challenges, and worked through them in our minds, and most importantly we’ve visualised crossing the line and succeeding. Next time you have a choice- I ask you to visualise both options in front of you- and feel which option gives you the most gratification.
12 weeks before my race in Tokyo I started visualisation for 10 minutes before sleeping. I’d lie in bed, in total darkness, and I’d place myself on the start line. The heat from the humidity, the sun blazing down, the butterflies in my stomach, the noise from the commotion, the feel of the blue carpet under my toes- I can picture each and every angle of the race. I felt what it would be like, and more importantly I visualised the satisfaction I may feel if I won the Gold- it fuelled my drive each and every day.
Can you place yourself in the moment you achieve your end goal? The feeling or satisfaction, the smile on your face from pride, the gratification of your effort and patience, you did it, you achieved it, and it wasn’t easy but you did it. Not everyone can be disciplined and stick to a vision- because if it was easy then everyone would do it. And the level of discipline required only gets tougher as your goals getting bigger- but you also grow with your success.
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When I speak to a Junior school, I ask them to embrace their uniqueness, I tell them to hold onto what makes them different from everyone around them, I make sure they know that one day their uniqueness will set them apart from everyone else- it will become their strength.
As children- we want to fit in, to be uniform to all other children, we try to look the part, to be accepted- we push down our differences. Its only when we spread our wings later in life, perhaps on a job application or in our circle of friends- we desperately seek to have something that others don’t. We want to stand out, to be different from others as this is what will set us apart from the crowd. You are the only version of yourself, in a world full of so many others.
Be Authentic.
Be the best version of yourself. And proudly be authentic to what makes you happy. Life is actually not a given and is very short- each day be what you want to be and be it proudly. Take time to figure out actually what it is you love to do. We are the result of what we do. Imagine yourself as a tank, and in order to be happy and full of life, the tank needs topping up- what tops your tank up?
It’s extremely easy to get caught up in what other people do, or what is ‘normal’ and in particular its easy to worry about how others perceive you. Perhaps if you are your ‘authentic’ self no one will accept you or judge you. And that’s actually okay. For example I have seen some ‘courageous’ fashion choices, I used to think wow she looks weird or what on earth is she wearing? Now I actually see a girl who wears what she loves, she is confident about her choice, and she is bold enough to stand by her choice. I applaud her!
To be so happy in your own ‘authentic’ self that you only worry about your perception- there’s calmness and beauty in that moment.
Be Confident.
Everyone will always have an opinion, and that is what makes us humans, we have or own thoughts and opinions. It would be impossible to get everyone to agree on a particular answer- we are all from different backgrounds, education, cultures- taught differently. So its okay to be you and your opinion is just as valid as others- it may just be different. The key to accepting ourselves and others, is to listen and value another’s opinion- regardless if you agreed or not. I like the phrase ‘agree to disagree.’
Be confident to be yourself, whether that be voicing your opinion, your fashion choices, your likes and dislikes, your life choices, your relationships- learn to be confident that you can stand out and do what’s best for you.
Be Thorough.
Sometimes reacting on a whim can be the best choice ever! Not too much contemplating your next step, or caring for externals factors- but I like to be thorough about the big decisions and exhaust all avenues before a make a choice. I do this because I know that way I’ve really analysed all options, and if I make the final decision, it will be the correct one. In every decision you make remember at that moment in time you decided what you thought was the best way forward. You were thorough in committing to the choice, and confident at that moment- you cannot ask anymore of yourself.
Being thorough allows us to have certainty in our decisions- it helps us have confidence in ourselves.
Be Humane.
This to me epitomises everything we do in our lives. Be humane. I often am faced with situations and I try to bring my best self to the moment- i aim to be kind, caring, considerate, and non-judgemental. Quite regularly I place myself in another person’s shoes and wonder for one moment how that person maybe feeling or their reason why for acting a certain way. If you can learn this skill it changes your perception about being unique and having your own differences. Life would be boring if we all acted, spoke and did the same things. Embrace others differences as it is what helps us growth as a species. We evolve.
Next time you find yourself judging someone- for a moment place yourself in their shoes, and try to understand them- allow yourself a different perception- you might be surprised.
Be Bold.
Next time you question yourself about being you, or doing something that might not fit in- really think about it- being yourself is refreshing and as long as you aren’t harming anyone else by your choice- be bold. Have the courage that you will succeed, you will be happy and you will stronger for standing out amongst the majority.
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I was once listening to a friend who had gone through a tough time, and I’d asked what had helped him ‘bounce’ back so quickly from his tough situation. And he replied so simply ‘happiness is a choice, we can chose to sit and regret, or we can chose to be positive and move forward.’ It really resonated with me. When we are confronted with a choice we often chose the easier route and the route that will provide short term comfort. But there is always a choice.
A lot of what I talk about in my blogs is habit building, and repetitive practises; none of these skills or thought reprogramming happen overnight- they take patience, practise and repetition. How do we choose happiness? Positive self-appraisal? Optimism?
Know thyself.
You have to make yourself happy. You have to know what you want, and why you want it. You are the engineer of your own life, your experiences, capabilities and your desires. You need to fulfil yourself, you shouldn’t look to others to fill that gap or make you happy- it is not their job. Their job is to embrace your happiness and enjoy life with you.
Self-acceptance.
We often want for more than we have, and we are never satisfied with what we have. On this particular topic- I’d like to address body image. And happiness with ourselves on the outside, can boost our confidence and in turn our happiness and optimism. As humans we are given a very small time on earth to see and experience as much as we can. Our systems are delicate and finely tuned- we are masterpieces. Each cell designed to perfection to allow us to see, hear, feel, taste, smell… and we cannot change what we have. It is an uncontrollable.
But we can be grateful for what we have been given, life and make the best of what we have. Body image is tough. I’ve most definitely struggled. I was born missing one arm. I struggled in my early teens with weight. And I still feel self-conscious about my body as an international gold medal winning athlete.
As a little girl I wore a prosthesis religiously. I hid my right arm. I didn’t want to be different- I wanted to fit in. I wasn’t confident to be myself. But as I grew older, and my arm was the source behind my athletic success- I became proud of having one arm, as I had opportunities that were incredible and having one arm made me Lauren Steadman. People will stare, as they did when I was younger, but I am ready and I don’t mind because I’m proud to be me.
Body image is so important to our self-confidence. I have always had a love for food. And I have an exceptionally feminine body- all the curves, and the bumps. I know I am slender, but I still get that small lower belly pouch in tight dresses. And when I race I know I don’t look like an elite athlete, my hips, my boobs, and my body type don’t suit the typical ‘athletic look’. I’ve struggled for years thinking people wont think I’m an elite athlete, or I wouldn’t wear a cropped top at photoshoots- I didn’t have a six pack. It really worried me!
But then one day I realised. I may have curves, I maybe feminine, but I am a world and European champion- no body type can change that. I get the best of both worlds- I get to be curvy in a ball gown and my body still delivers an athletic performance when I demand it. Everyone is unique and everyone has ‘differences’ but it is those differences that allow us to ‘stand out’.
Proud as punch.
I’d be lying if I said it was as easy as that. It’s not, but you can control your thoughts. I learnt over the years to be proud, I only get one body and I can’t grow an arm or change my figure, but I can learn to love what I have. Think more so about what you do have, instead of what you don’t. Lots of things come and go in our lives but you yourself will most definitely be the most constant thing in your life- so learn to ‘get to know yourself’ and ‘better yourself.’ May that be life choices, body image, relationships, your happiness, your efficacy- Do you. Be You. For You.
Chose your happy place.
Lastly, your happy place. No one is happy constantly it’s impossible, life has its challenges, but you are strong and tough and you will grow with the challenges. Chose a happy place that is yours and its not something that can be taken away from you- something permanent. A favourite place to go, a small daily routine, a favourite song or food dish, something that you can do that will make you feel good.
]]>I challenge you going forwards after reading this blog post, that whenever you feel down, or as though everything is going wrong, to reappraise the moment. It took me 8 years to learn this skill. And it changed how I viewed the world, my appreciation for the opportunities I’ve been given throughout my life, and most importantly it boosted my own confidence.
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It started when I was a young swimmer, I was that young girl who gave everything she had no matter what was in front of her- perhaps it was my determination from my disability or simply my personality- I wanted to do everything, and do it well- otherwise what is the point? My swimming career was great, I have fond memories- I made friends for life, I learnt life skills in time management, discipline, and structured mindset. You can’t follow a single black line for hours along the pool bottom without learning to have a strong mindset!
But my career was tough, I had more disappointments than successes. Yes, I made the international team, I swam good times, I earnt medals- but most performances weren’t what I wanted or deserved based on my training efforts. I would hit fantastic times in training that didn’t translate into my racing. It was heart-breaking, frustrating, and created so much self-doubt. How could you give everything, and get nothing in return?
My coach however, was excellent. And this is where I began to learn positive appraisal, after each disappointing race, where I consistently swam the same time over and over again- top points for consistency! He would tell me- ‘yes it’s not the overall time you wanted, but what did you execute well?’. I used to hate the question, as I was annoyed, but he would reply with you had the fastest reaction time of the starting block, you held your breathing pattern, you were quick through the turn, or you finished faster than you ever have. The morale of this story is that just because the end result isn’t as we wanted, doesn’t mean we didn’t execute fundamentals of race correctly. From these comments, I would go forward thinking more so of what I did well, and redirecting my energy into motivating myself to get the other parts correct so that one day the whole execution would come together.
This reflective and positive thinking has changed my attitude to many things, we often visualise an event or moment ahead of time and we place perceived impressions of how an event should be, when in reality it hasn’t happened yet and we should add realism to the other scenarios that may occur. Opening our minds to ‘flow’ and going with the flow, and learning to enjoy a moment for what it is and not what we want it to be, can help with our positive experiences, learn to ‘go with the flow’ or ‘live in the moment’.
Many times I’ve faced fantastic opportunities or been part of devasting conversations or events- sometimes I find myself hiding from my own pain to help others see clearly. There is always a positive to be found from a situation- talking and boosting yourself and others can have a huge impact on your optimism throughout life.
Another athletic example which took me a long time to put a ‘positive’ spin on! Was winning my silver medal at the Rio Paralympic Games 2016. I made a mistake. I swum the wrong direction. It cost me my Gold medal. But it was still my first ever Paralympic medal. Devastated was an understatement. However, with hindsight, I truly believe everything happens for a reason. It leads you to become the person you are today, it shapes you and it allows you to have perception.
I may have won the silver that day, but it fuelled me to correct my mistake in the following years after. It lead me to starring on Strictly Come Dancing, SAS Who Dares Wins, I continued to push my athletic boundaries, I lived in another country, I started a wellbeing brand- all these things may or may not have happened if I had succeeded in getting Gold- I may have retired and since then have been doing something completely different.
There is a positive in every moment- I learnt a lesson, a very harsh one, but it helped my growth as a person. And I am proud of the girl I’ve become. I will always seek to find the light in the dark, to see the glass half full not half empty, as in my eyes I am rich with experience, opportunities, friends and family, and safe. Often it’s easy to forget that not everyone is as fortunate as us- we strive for more to push ourselves further, but there is also someone around the world who prays for what you have- so we need to allow ourselves perspective, gratefulness, and gratitude.
Be a glass half full kinda person.
Have you ever dreamt about a moment, made a countdown clock inside your head, imagined all the great things about a particular moment to then be exceptionally disappointed or lose confidence last minute and chicken out? I can most definitely say yes!
But I am also a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. One momentous decision can change our whole life direction, I can look back on times where I’ve chosen one route and it’s led me to the woman I am today, but often wonder what would have happened if I choose the other route. But, I am very happy with my life, proud of the woman I’ve become, so good or bad decisions- ultimately, they lead me to become the version of myself today, and the decisions to come will determine the version I will become as I grow.
Overthinking decisions, or opportunities, can be both positive and negative; many rush into decisions, others will lose those opportunities as they worried to much. There is a fine line, between being assertive and decisive and over complicating situations. We could apply a scale to these moments, whereby we ask ourselves will this change my life significantly? 1-10, 10 being yes wholly, 1 very little. Give yourself longer for the life changing decision, and be sharper on the smaller things.
Another point to note here is committing to your decision once you’ve decided. Have confidence that the choice you made is one of many, but that regardless of the scenario you face, you will be able to make the best of it. Most of the time we overthink the simplest of situations simply because either missing out on something better, or that we are deciding on something we won’t be able to undo.
These are both valid reasons for overthinking. But they will also limit our growth. If we continue to stick to what we know then we’ll only get the same results, in order to grow as individuals we need to learn and evolve to new stimulus and situations, and most of the time we over achieve and wonder why we questioned ourselves in the first place.
An old coach of mine was said ‘the obstacle in front of you is like a mountain, you are climbing this mountain, aiming to reach the peak. The climb takes forever, and you continuously look up at how far you still have to go. But you forget, to occasionally turn around and see how far you’ve come.’ It has always stuck with me, as I’ve studied for my degrees, or as I’ve entered into a 4 year Paralympic cycle. So I built a habit; to every once in a while stop and think about all the accomplishments, no matter how big or small. It provides me with a sense of confidence and recharges me to keep pushing forward. And to challenge myself, otherwise I won’t progress much further up my mountain.
Another growth habit I started, is a Colombian NYE’s tradition, my housemate Camila, is Colombian and introduced me to this. Every NYE before midnight, write down twelve things you’d like to change/do the following year. I keep them in my purse and every NYE I tick off the ones I complete the year before, and I set new ones for the year to come. Growth mindset to keep pushing to be better, for no one other than myself.
Overthinking is a self-detrimental tool, it limits us more often than it helps us. So how can we channel our thought patterns to lessen overthinking?
Often it is the simplest things that can stress us out the most, and we over complicate things, we conjure unnecessary scenarios, and we need to learn to Be in Control of our thoughts. Reappraise all the times we’ve felt similar and look at what outcome happened. Be a thinker, its healthy, but control how cautious or how optimistic you are- find a balanced thought process for you, not anyone else but you.
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“The bad news is time flies, the good news is you’re the pilot.”
365 days a year, 24 hours in a day and nearly 20% of us are usually late for an appointment! I’m an optimistic person and usually try to squeeze too much into my day and overcommit my time, but id credit my younger sporting years for actually giving me a concept of structured time and the disciplinary acts that followed if I didn’t turn up on time!
Some key pointers I’ve learnt over my athletic years include;
• Prioritisation: This sounds simple but we rarely do it, as an athlete I learnt especially this year to put my training and recovery before all the other things I wanted to do. 1stand 2nd level goals, priority this year was athletic performance over my academic and personal careers. Therefore I actually said NO to things that would take my attention away from my sessions, and planned ‘recovery sessions’. These simply involved napping, reading or Netflix, nothing that would strain my legs or mental capacity- as I needed both to be optimal each and every session. Scheduled Netflix sessions! Dreamy! But in your weekly planning- I firmly believe in planning‘downtime’ time for you, away from stressors and demands.
• Self-boundaries: I am surrounded by some of the kindest most helpful people I know! These people suffer the most- they overcommit! They want to help everyone and do as much as they possibly can- at their own detriment. Learn when to say NO or have simple honesty that your overstretched right now- people do understand. Miscommunication often leads us to flexing our boundaries. You and your priorities come first- you can’t fill someone else’s cup if your cup is empty.
• Delegation skills: This is your inner circle! Learn that it’s okay to ask for help. I regularly say that I am the athlete and I execute the race, but there are so many people who help get me prepared. I execute the race, but the engine is built by my coach, the components are built by my S&C coach, and looked after by my physio, the nutritionist fills and fuels my body, and the psychologist controls the thought dynamics- I couldn’t begin to control everything, and I’m not a specialist in these areas, so we can delegate certain things to others who have the necessary skill set.
There’s a classic saying ‘to be on time is to be late.’ I agree our world runs on systematic timing, trains and planes have a schedule, our work has a schedule, our gym programmes have sets and reps, our daily lives revolve around ‘being on time’. There is also a scale of disaster correlated with time, to be late for a cinema showing or an extra 30 seconds boiling an egg- it doesn’t affect our life too much, but being even 30seconds late for a plane journey, clinicians appointment, or your first born child being born - there a greater consequences to not being on time. Many people learn the hard way and its costly to them- and they are never late again! It’s a tough habit to break and recreate but if time management is a sticking point for you, give some of the above points a go and see what positive changes you can make.
]]>We are creatures of habit; creatures of routine and we like to have consistency and structure in most of our daily lives. Generally, the things that guide our lives are organised and run to a system- time has structure, our eating routine, our exercise routine, the time we choose to rise and sleep, how we take our coffee. Self-growth happens more often when we invest in new processes and adapt to change. Unfortunately, as a species we tend to favour the familiar and find it very difficult to step away from our usual choices or routine.
Changing our thought processes and patterns requires patience and persistency, we cannot change overnight, but gradually over time we can shift how we want to be or act.
I revert to these two terms- long term vision and short-term goals.
We evolve through time from child to teenager, adolescent to young adult and finally adult. Our thoughts, personalities, our values, missions and wants all growth with our age. The athlete in me only grew in these past 3 years- yes it took me nearly 14 years to grasp myself as an athlete. They say it takes 10 years or 10,000 hours to produce an elite athlete, not only our physical abilities, but our mental capabilities.
Every athlete that lines up at an Olympic or Paralympic final has worked equally as hard, they have trained daily, and each deserving to be in that spot- however it is who has the correct mindset on the day to execute the race they need in order to win. Similarly, at a job interview, everyone will have incredible resumes, and a wealth of experience, but it will be the person who echoes honest confidence and clarity in themselves.
What changed for me as an athlete over this last Paralympic cycle?
Simply- my thoughts and perception of the task in front of me and the way I choose to think about it. I changed my thought process, which changed my attitude, leading to a change in my performance behaviour.
Previously I raced scared, doubtful of my abilities, and concerned too much with the outcome as opposed to the journey and effort itself. Because at the end of the day- as long as you have given everything you possibly could on the day- how can you be disappointed with yourself? Perhaps disappointed with the end result, but not yourself- you tried.
My biggest change took 3 years to grasp, it was a change in my perspective and willingness to be adaptable. My coach worked for 3 years to shift my thought processes and decision making under pressure- which is usually when we all need to be able to make the correct choices.
Regardless of the situation everyone has a plan A, B or C, even D! As an athlete I used to love a solid race plan- it would reassure me- but as with everything most plans don’t actually happen as they should! When my plans didn’t work, it created doubt, chaos, panic and then my race had extra unnecessary stress.
It’s difficult to identify our own weak spots but sometimes we should be critical of ourselves- my weak spot was the inability to make experienced adaptive decisions and be confident in my choices. By facing fear, I actually grew and now I embrace the excitement of the unknown!
To create change my coach removed my race plans altogether; he said I would learn to race making split second decisions as they presented themselves- be decisive, be present, be adaptable to whatever comes my way. At first, I hated it- what if I made the wrong choice? Then I would have to learn to be accountable. After a few races- l learnt confidence in myself from every correct move, I learnt to be adaptable, removing all the doubts and what if’s because I knew I would be able to be flexible and handle the situation. And above all of this my mind was relaxed, calm and collected, I was nervous yes, but I was excited for the opportunity to race and at peace with whatever the result would be.
I’ll be honest it wasn’t easy, I felt exposed, as I like to control things, but actually the best way to be prepared is to expect the unexpected.
This shift in my perception helped me recognise, that I am not defined as a person by one performance, it’s an accumulation and actually it’s a lifetime of learning that we are on a journey not an end destination, so we owe it to ourselves to enjoy the journey and to be open to changing if it helps us grow, be happier and experience more in life.
]]>I could feel the blue carpet under my toes, the warm air of Tokyo around me, the hot sun piercing through the clouds covering Odaiba bay, the eleven other girls twitching nervously beside me, the commotion of our teammates in the bandstand. This was it, no more time to think, no more chances to train in preparation, no more planning with my coach. The time has come to stand up. To deliver what I had trained over 9 years for, the perfectly executed race, pushing my physical limits to the max, learning to control my inner mental demons- can I put it all together? Can I deliver the race necessary to become Paralympic Champion. It would take everything I’ve got.
Did I have doubts? Yes. Did I think I could do it? Yes. Did I lose sleep? Yes. Did I overthink? Yes. Did I study every scenario possible? Yes. Was I concerned about my fellow racers? Yes. But all those questions are only natural. Nearly all those questions and more will surface when you are facing something that is going to challenge you or help you grow.
Below I share with you how I have trained my mind in these situations to overcome self-doubt and perform at my best when it mattered most:
Anxious and got the butterflies? Tell yourself I feel this way because I’m excited to see what I can achieve, and I’m nervous because my body is preparing itself for ‘ready to go’ mode. This is an important moment to me. Now when I stand before a race I’ve actively taught myself to think ‘I enjoy this feeling my butterflies are telling me that my body is preparing to work’. We need to create these positive spins to the task in front of us, whether that be a business meeting, a school exam, or a sporting event, we all get nervous, but we can all positively focus the feelings and the situation- it’s a fine balance between being relaxed and being ready.
Negative thoughts emerging? We naturally focus on the negative scenarios over the positive. Try practising cognitive restructuring; it takes time and constant repetition but each time a negative thought pops into your head, try and spin it into a positive. I’ve found writing down the negative thought in a notebook with the solution helps to boost my confidence in my own abilities. There is an answer for every doubt. ‘What happens if I am not where I thought I would be?’ ‘What if I cannot push harder?’. Simples solutions to these doubts include; I am strong and I am capable. I have trained daily for this moment. I need to focus on what I am good at- trust in my own process.
Feeling stressed? I now only let myself get into the ‘ready’ mode a couple of hours before the race, as there is no need to be in the zone for any time period earlier than this. We have a natural tendency to get worried weeks before an event and this only leads to sleepless nights and unnecessary stress! So I distract myself by tasks that change my train of thought; reading, baking, TV series, and then only allow myself to let in the ‘ready’ mode a few hours before the main event. Compartmentalising my thoughts, only choosing to in the moment when I need to be, not when my mind wants to be- but it takes practise!
What about the other people? Make yourself a priority in controlling your own headspace. You want to control your thoughts. You want to embrace this moment in time. And only you are in control of how you act and react. We cannot control others thoughts or actions and it simply wastes energy focusing on things that are out of our control. Spending time running random scenarios in your head that may or may not happen, leads to unfocused thoughts and increased anxiety have faith that you can be adaptable and handle any scenario given to you.
These techniques can be translated from an athletic career to all aspects of life, as demonstrated in a few examples below:
• assess your biological responses to challenge. Recognise this as useful energy that you can re-direct to achieve your goal. For example, use those nerves before a big presentation to bring energy and passion to your work.
• work on how you appraise negative thoughts and restructure these to be positive. For example, when going on a first date rather than thinking ‘What if I say something wrong?’ Have confidence, you’ve not said the wrong thing before.
• allow yourself to feel stressed only when it will become helpful to you. For example, when sitting an exam it is unhelpful to feel stressed about it until a few hours before hand. Think of all the sleepless nights and stressful days you’ll save.
• control the controllable, which is yourself! For example, don’t think about the other people going for the same job as you control yourself and your own mindset.
I often like to conceptualise self-doubt as being a gremlin on one shoulder and a fairy on the other. On the one hand self- doubt can really affect us if we don’t learn to harness it, but it can also be a powerful tool. Self-doubt can highlight our weaknesses, teach us where we need to improve and turn weak spots into strengths, ultimately helping us to grow and perform at our best.
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