Have you ever been in the position of not knowing what you want from life? You compare yourself to those who surround you? Their acheivements? Their Lifestyle? Careers? Relationships? When we do this we value their progression more so than our own, when in reality these factors shouldn’t influence our views. If we were to sit and chat to others, asking the important questions, we may find that although others lives look great, they’ve sacrificed too, they’ve endured, they’ve fumbled their way too- its natural.
Our journeys are tough and as youngsters we are taught to find our career path early- study hard, go to work. Many people stray from their original career paths, to something better or worse, or 20 years later find their chosen goal or career path. So many people start marathon running in their 30’s/40’s! But the important part is that regardless of what you wanted to become, you stayed true to who you wanted to become.
I’ve found three factors that have helped keep positive influences over my journeys to achieving my goals: Truth, Realism and Fuel. These 3 factors can help you create real goals and goals that you will want to stay true to.
“Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.” -Arthur Conan Doyle.
Be honest with yourself, open up to who you truly want to be, what you want from life. This can take some time, and as a species we constantly change, therefore so do our wants from life. So patience is vital- slow and steady wins the race. My moments of truth happened when I felt extremely lost, and I decided I wanted to create significant change- a upped and move to Dubai to pursue a career in coaching, and my second was joining the Royal Air Force. I felt intimidated by the unknown, nervous of the future, but in both of these decisions, I asked myself ‘does this fall in line with who I want to be?’ I was honest with myself about the challenges, positives and how this decision would add value to me as a person and then the choice became simple- I didn’t hide from myself.
“The pessimist complains about the wind, the optimist expects it to change, the realist adjusts the sails.”
Truth and realism are connected, you have to be truthful with yourself on what goals are realistic and which aren't. Chasing unrealistic goals is like having a destination but without clear direction. You can achieve anything you want, with time, effort and persistence; however unrealistic goals happen when we overestimate the effort required, the skills necessary, or the experience.
So, what is a realistic goal? These are goals that are slightly ahead of your abilities, skills and knowledge. If they were within these you could easily achieve them. I was challenged in Dubai, into a position of higher capability that I hadn't had before. I was a good swim coach, but to coach the school swim team- that would challenge my leadership skills, my teaching ability and further my knowledge. I knew I had the correct skills, abilities and knowledge, I just needed to be realistic as to whether I could step up my game.
Identify your abilities, skills and knowledge. Work out your next step. Stay humble. Stay Patient. Stay Hungry.
"Motivation is like fire, unless you keep adding fuel to it, it dies. Your fuel is your belief in your inner values.” -Shiv Khera.
The final piece, Fuel. This is the motivation behind the answers you’ve discovered from the truth and realism. This is the why. Why have you chosen these goals? Why are you doing this. Simple questions but your truthful answers will show what is driving your goals. If you’ve been truthful with yourself then fuel your goals with passion, love, enjoyment and freedom. Never fuel your goals and future ambitions based on others, to achieve more than others, to earn more, to impress others, it wont fulfil you, be guided by your values and who you want to become.